Stepping On A Flower

a flower,
that might or
might not be
beautiful,
on the side of
the road...

a pair of feet
comes along,
a  human male,
and steps
on the flower...

he stops,
sees what he has
done,
seen that he has stepped
on the flower,
yet he is not
surprised...

 he
knew he
was going
to step on
the flower...
yet he does
not know why
he stepped on it...

all he knows is that
he stepped on
the flower,
leaving its petals strewn
over the
side of
the road...

he feels bad
yet he still has no
reason why he stepped
on the flower...

with its dying life
force,
the flower looks up at him
and asks why he stepped
on her...


he doesn't know...
he thinks about it
and all he knows
is that he stepped
on the flower...


not on purpose but
not by accident either...


he does
not know the
reason why he stepped
on this beautiful flower,
crushing it and killing
it...

he walks on,
and the flower dies,
with her petals surrounding
her...
not ever knowing why
she was stepped on...

Is It Lying

Is it lying?

is it lying
when I act
like I don't
feel what I feel?

is it lying
when I act
like my heart
doesn't break all over
again each day that what
I want doesn't happen?

it is lying
when I act
like I am fine at
having my heart and my feelings
given back to me with a
"thanks, but no thanks"?

it is lying
when I shove
down my feelings to a place
deep inside
so I can
be the person he expects?
the person who is fine with being
just friends and with being turned down?

is it lying?
is all this lying?
is one truth a
more real truth than
the other truth?

I am a liar?
are all of
these lies
because they
are not the whole story?

Underneath The Smile

tears fall,
heart cries
and heart
breaks,
right in front
of their faces..

yet they
never notice...

they take the
smile on top of
the pain
at face value
and don't think
to look at what's
underneath it...

he knows
the emotions
but he also knows
the lie,
and doesn't
think
about the truth...

and this is
just the way I wish it to be...

the truth,
the feelings,
the awful pain
that is sometimes
too much to
bear,
that causes
me to drive
in the darkness
around and around
in circles
to push
it back away...
this all stays
buried,
underneath the smile.

Black And White

emotions
side by side,

one is
white,
the other is
black,

on one side
I feel
a strong
feeling,
a strong sense,

on the other side,
I feel
the exact
opposite,
yet it is just as strong,
just as powerful,

and they are both
as real.

neither one is more
real than the
other,
neither one
more fake
than the
other.

they are both the truth.

I find
myself
going back and forth,
feeling white one minute,
then black the
other,
and the only thing
they have in common
is him.

Too Brightly

Light can
be bright,
it can shine into
the darkness
and fill it
all with light...

light is good,
it lets you
see the monsters
in the dark,
allowing you
to be able to
fight them...

yet there
is a darkness
to light,
and sometimes
light can be
so bright
that you
cannot see
around you...

you look
right at it
and it blinds you...

it shines so brightly,
so intensily, and
so beautifuly,
that you cannot take your eyes
away from it
and you lose focus,
you don't see anything else...

not even yourself...

you always
have the option
of turning it
off,
or walking away,
yet...

what if this
brightly shining
light,
is someone that
you care about?
someone whose beautiful light
shines so
intensily
that it blinds you, and
you cannot see
anything else around you?
at least not without difficulty?

what is the answer then?
what do I do?


*inspired by Michelle Branch's "Goodbye To You" and also inspired by real emotion