Seem to Help It...

I refuse to

like him.

 

yet i cannot

seem to

help it...

 

i refuse to

allow

any feelings

for him to

grow...

 

yet I cannot

seem to

help it...

 

I tell myself

I wont like him...

 

that I don't like him...

 

that I never will like him...

 

that you can't stop feelings

which don't exist...

 

but I know,

it is a hard battle for me to

fight, stopping

these feelings which

do in fact exist...

 

but I will

fight it...

 

I will

vanish it from

my heart...

 

because

I know the way

this story,

like all the others

will end...

 

and he wont

be any different t

than the others...

Vanish Out Of Sight

*disclaimer* I am posting this poem to both my poem blog and my china blog. it belongs in my poem blog because it is a poem, but i am in China, and so i feel like it belongs there as well, so i am putting in in both.

 

 

it is

hard to let

go...

 

it is hard

to stand

still

and watch

it leave

out of

your

sight...

 

it is easy

to say

you want

it to go away,

but hard

to watch it

go away...

 

i want my

feelings

to go away...

 

i want to watch

them vanish

out of

sight...

 

yet I

cannot seem

to...

 

I cannot

stand still

and watch them

vanish

out of

my sight...

 

it

is

hard to

let

go of

something

that has become

part of you...

 

that has become a

part of

your nature

almost...

 

yet

these feelings

will

never

be

returned,

they will

never be joined

by a matching feeling...

 

so i have to let

them vanish

out of sight...

 

others around

believe I have already

stood still

and watched

the feelings

vanish

of our sight...

 

or they dont

know the feelings

existed

in the first place...

 

love feelings

are hard to let go,

because hope

springs eternal..

As The Tide

You have  always

Been the

Most important

Person to me…

 

The person

Whom I

Have always put first…

 

The person

Whom I care

About more

Than any other

Person in this

Earthly world…

 

Yet I find myself

Being forced to

Put other things

First…

 

To put other

Things and

Other people,

And maybe even myself,

Ahead of you

In my priorities,

In my life…

 

I find myself

Having to look

Around

And see

That

There are no reasons,

Other that my heart

And my feelings,

To put you first …

 

It goes against

My heart…

 

It goes against

My feelings…

 

A small part of me even

Says it goes

Against whom I am…

 

To have other

People come first

And not you…

 

Yet as I look

Around I see

That it is necessary…

 

I see

That I am

HERE…

 

And I see

That you are

THERE…

 

Not being in the

Same place

Comes

With the reality that

Things must change…

 

That things which  

Have always been

The most important,

Always coming first,

Cannot keep the same status anymore…

 

It by no means

That they no longer

Are important or as important…

 

but must be as the tide…

while the tide itself does not

change what it is…

its changes how high it is..