I Wish I Had Never

I wish I've never

met you...

 

I wish our paths had

never crossed...

 

I wish I did not

know your name...

 

I wish I had never

heard your voice...

 

I wish I had never

seen your serious side...

 

I wish I had never

seen your playful side...

 

I wish I  had never

seen your Faith...

 

I wish I had never

learned anything about you...

 

I wish I had never

learned,

seen,

or heard anything about you...

 

because i like

you,

and you will not

ever like

me.

 

I wish I had never

begun to

care for you.

Is It Possible?

is it possible

to love

someone you

barely know?

 

is love

like a

science experienment,

where steps and order

follow one another

in a logical

sequence,

one leading to the other?

 

is love

a list,

to truly love someone

do you have to

be able to

list everything

about them and

everything

you love about them

and reasons why you

love them?

 

is it possible to

love someone

you barely

know?

 

perhaps it is...

 

perhaps love

is not logical and

does not have levels

where one level follows the other,

but maybe

love just

is...

 

maybe love is a free spirit,

maybe love is like

the wind,

all around

you,

no sense of direction,

no logic,

no rules,

it's just there...

 

maybe

you can love someone

you barely know...

 

or maybe not.

Cheering For My Brain

hearing

your name

said,

makes something

light up inside

of me,

inside of my

heart...

 

small

details about you

are like

tiny,

beautiful,

unexpected gifts,

tiny little

Blessings...

 

seeing you

walk through the door,

or walking through

the door and seeing you,

makes the day

a bit more beautiful...

 

talking with

you

is a joy, and i envy all

who get to

talk to you daily...

 

yet, i refuse

to like you...

 

i know how this

story ends...

 

i dont like

walking down

one-way streets...

 

i will not let

myself like you...

 

therefore i am

glad your far away and seeing

you is never a daily or weekly occurence...

 

 

my heart versus my

brain,

and im cheering  for  

my brain...

Split Second Moments

Those moments,

those tiny  split second moments,

those are

the moments that make

life beautiful...

 

that split second moment,

when its

cold and wind

outside,

and for a brief moment

the sun hits you

just right

and you are perfectly warm...

 

that split second moment,

when your

eyes meet his,

and you get

to look right into

his beautiful eyes...

 

that split second moment,

when your on the bus,

going across

the bridge,

and the dark night is all around

and the neon on the buildings and the bridge

make colors burst from the

night...

 

that split second moment,

when its morning,

sun still rising,

and the colors are

spread over the sky,

with fog across the ground,

across the frozen river...

 

that split second moment,

right as your falling alseep,

when you feel warm,

and safe, and

cozy in your bed...

 

that split second moment,

when you feel

beautiful, strong,and

brave...

 

that split second moment,

when i can

hope

that one day,

you will feel

the same way about me

as I do about you...

 

those are the moments,

split second tiny moments,

that make life beautiful...

 

In The Place

In the place

you

once were...

 

the place you

went to

once...

 

once,

not so long ago

but still in the past...

 

in the place

you once

were...

 

the place

you went to

on purpose

but just to pass though...

 

the place

you loved,

the place that brought

a smile to

your face and heart...

 

in this place..

 

there are now

others,

others who never knew

you were

there...

 

others,

who will

never know

you were there...

 

never know

you loved it,

and love it still..

 

the walked where you

walked..

 

the see what you saw...

 

they sit where you sat...

 

they do

what you did...

 

and still,

they never

know you were there...

 

never know you

loved it...

 

never know

you...

 

and then they leave,

and others follow them,

and it all begins again...

 

 

Frozen In The Present

through the middle of the

city...

 

there runs

a river...

 

it is frozen

now..

 

frozen

from the

bitter

cold

 that reigns

the outside...

 

the river

is stuck in time...

 

frozen in time...

 

a clear visual

to the past...

 

the past

in the frozen...

 

the river...

 

frozen in time,

in the moment,

in the past...

 

the past

frozen in the present...

 

a frozen

real statement

to the past...

 

 

Part Of My Heart

I've loved

you for years,

had you in my

life for years...

 

 now

 I am far

from you...

 

 

i miss

stroking

you gently,

as I get lost

in your words..

 

I miss having

you all around

me,

knowing that

you are

there,

within easy

reach...

 

I miss your

smell,

that beautiful

scent that is

uniquely

you...

 

I miss

your comfort,

the way

you could

always help

me forget

my problems

and worries

and pains,

made it all more

 tolerable...

 

being

so far away,

from you is

hard...

 

it makes me

realize

what i have known

for years...

 

that having

you in my life

is important

to me...

 

it makes me

realize

that having

 your words

on a screen in front

of me...

 

while

better

than not having

you at all...

 

is a poor susbtitute

for not

having you...

 

each time

I see your words

on the screen...

 

I wish I

had you

instead...

 

You are part

of who I am,

part of my heart...

 

 

But I Can't

I want to

let myself

like you,

 

but I can't.

 

I want to

not  fight

it,

just let it go

and see what happens,

 

but I can't.

 

I want to

let myself believe

that this

time,

it will be different,

 

but I can't.

 

I want to

let myself get

to know you better,

 

but I can't.

 

I want to

let mysef  want to

spend time with

you,

 

but I can't.

 

I can't,

because to

you,

it wont matter.

 

I can't,

because I've learned

that it is never enough

and neither am I.

 

I can't,

because I know the

ending if I don't.

 

if I don't,

the ending will

be a no,

and tears

and pain.

 

so I can't.

I Wish

others

dream of

turning lead

to gold,

i dream

of turning

emotions

into words...

 

I  wish

I had the

words

to write

how I feel...

 

I wish I

knew how to

turn emotions

into words...

 

I wish

I could

say

how I feel

towards him,

be able to explain

wanting to care yet not

wanting to care...

 

be able to explain

liking

you and yet

not letting

myself like

you...

 

I wish

I had the

dream-like

strength of

not caring

that the

fires of heartache

will burn me

once more...

 

I wish

I could believe

that this time,

it will end

up differently...

 

I wish

I had

boyfriend stories

to tell...

 

I wish I

was the kind

of girl

to whom

liking a

guy was not

every time,

always

painful...

 

 

I wish I

could free

my feelings

and like you,

and see where it goes,

if anywhere...

 

but wishing

does not

change reality...

 

and I cannot...

 

so my feelings,

will remain un-free,

so I can stay smiling...

Seem to Help It...

I refuse to

like him.

 

yet i cannot

seem to

help it...

 

i refuse to

allow

any feelings

for him to

grow...

 

yet I cannot

seem to

help it...

 

I tell myself

I wont like him...

 

that I don't like him...

 

that I never will like him...

 

that you can't stop feelings

which don't exist...

 

but I know,

it is a hard battle for me to

fight, stopping

these feelings which

do in fact exist...

 

but I will

fight it...

 

I will

vanish it from

my heart...

 

because

I know the way

this story,

like all the others

will end...

 

and he wont

be any different t

than the others...

Vanish Out Of Sight

*disclaimer* I am posting this poem to both my poem blog and my china blog. it belongs in my poem blog because it is a poem, but i am in China, and so i feel like it belongs there as well, so i am putting in in both.

 

 

it is

hard to let

go...

 

it is hard

to stand

still

and watch

it leave

out of

your

sight...

 

it is easy

to say

you want

it to go away,

but hard

to watch it

go away...

 

i want my

feelings

to go away...

 

i want to watch

them vanish

out of

sight...

 

yet I

cannot seem

to...

 

I cannot

stand still

and watch them

vanish

out of

my sight...

 

it

is

hard to

let

go of

something

that has become

part of you...

 

that has become a

part of

your nature

almost...

 

yet

these feelings

will

never

be

returned,

they will

never be joined

by a matching feeling...

 

so i have to let

them vanish

out of sight...

 

others around

believe I have already

stood still

and watched

the feelings

vanish

of our sight...

 

or they dont

know the feelings

existed

in the first place...

 

love feelings

are hard to let go,

because hope

springs eternal..

As The Tide

You have  always

Been the

Most important

Person to me…

 

The person

Whom I

Have always put first…

 

The person

Whom I care

About more

Than any other

Person in this

Earthly world…

 

Yet I find myself

Being forced to

Put other things

First…

 

To put other

Things and

Other people,

And maybe even myself,

Ahead of you

In my priorities,

In my life…

 

I find myself

Having to look

Around

And see

That

There are no reasons,

Other that my heart

And my feelings,

To put you first …

 

It goes against

My heart…

 

It goes against

My feelings…

 

A small part of me even

Says it goes

Against whom I am…

 

To have other

People come first

And not you…

 

Yet as I look

Around I see

That it is necessary…

 

I see

That I am

HERE…

 

And I see

That you are

THERE…

 

Not being in the

Same place

Comes

With the reality that

Things must change…

 

That things which  

Have always been

The most important,

Always coming first,

Cannot keep the same status anymore…

 

It by no means

That they no longer

Are important or as important…

 

but must be as the tide…

while the tide itself does not

change what it is…

its changes how high it is..

 

Re: The River

*Written on September 21*

 

people sitting by

the river,

on the steps by

the river...

 

a man

swimming in

the river,

standing out in

the vast river...

 

boats of

people,

of tourists,

pass by on

the river...

 

I hear and see the

water of 

the river,

splashing against

the steps...

 

I see a

seagull,

flying low

over

the water of

river...

 

I see

bubbles,

playful bubbles,

flying

over the water,

over the steps,

following the

wind,

wherever it will

take them...

 

I feel the sun,

warm upon me,

touching my

skin...

 

I feel the wind ,

blowing softly ,

keeping things

cool...

 

they all come

together,

the swimmer,

the boats,

the splashing water,

seagulls, bubbles,

sun, and wind,

they are together,

reach inside

of me...

 

they

touch

my soul,

and heal my heart...

 

they touch

my soul,

and bring

me close

to

YOU,

close enough to

feel YOU

in my heart...

 

this happens

by

the river.

 

River You Created

*Written September 21, 2011*

 

Creator,

you created

this vast and

beautiful river...

 

how,

or when,

or why,

I do not

know...

 

but I

believe

You created

this river...

 

You created

this vast

river,

that I

sit beside

and feel

so small

beside...

 

You created

this beautiful

river,

that I marvel

at,

and cannot

express or do

justice to

its beauty...

 

Creator,

by this

river

You created,

I can feel

hear,

smell you...

 

I can feel

You in

the wind,

blowing from and over

the river...

 

I can

hear You

in the splash,

splashing of

the river

over the steps...

 

I can smell

you in

the smell

of the river,

a beautiful

smell of salt

mixed with

water...

 

Creator,

we cannot

see You,

but we

can see,

hear, smell,

and feel

You in

all the

things ,

and people,

that You

Created...

 

I often forget,

but

sitting on

the steps

beside the

beautiful and

vast river You created...

reminded me once

more.

The River

*Written on September 21*

 

people sitting by

the river,

on the steps by

the river...

 

a man

swimming in

the river,

standing out in

the vast river...

 

boats of

people,

of tourists,

pass by on

the river...

 

I hear and see the

water of 

the river,

splashing against

the steps...

 

I see a

seagull,

flying low

over

the water of

river...

 

I see

bubbles,

playful bubbles,

flying

over the water,

over the steps,

following the

wind,

wherever it will

take them...

 

I feel the sun,

warm upon me,

touching my

skin...

 

I feel the wind ,

blowing softly ,

keeping things

cool...

 

they all come

together,

the swimmer,

the boats,

the splashing water,

seagulls, bubbles,

sun, and wind,

they are together,

reach inside

of me...

 

they

touch

my soul,

and heal my heart...

 

they touch

my soul,

and bring

me close

to

YOU,

close enough to

feel YOU

in my heart...

 

this happens

by

the river.

 

Running Towards Something

I

found a

chance

to run...

 

A

chance to

run away,

towars something...

 

yet when I got there...

 

I looked around

and was glad that

I found a chance

to run...

 

I then turned and

looked back...

 

when I turned

back I saw that

which I had,

without admitting

to myself,

been running from...

 

I ran towards something

and also away from something...

 

They say

running away

is not the

thing to do...

 

yet...

 

yet sometimes running

is the only way

you can do somethign

about it...

 

the new air

and surroudings and life

and even problems

and sad moments...

 

they slowly

take you,

and your heart,

away from that

which

you must

let go off...

 

it frees your

mind to

think

of those other

things

you love,

and want,

and never truly think off...

 

such as

teaching people

about your self

and Your Life,

and what you

want your life

to be like...

 

so,

running...

is sometimes

the best thing to do.

 

just as long as while you're running away,

you're running towards something first...

I Found Myself Saying Your Name

This morning,
After I stopped sleeping
But before I woke up,
In between
Dream and
Reality,

I found myself
Saying ur name
In my
Head
Over and over...

I pictured you
Sleeping
Beside me,
Eyes closed,
Arms wrapped around me
Reaching over to
Hold my hand,
Even in sleep...

I thought about
How I love that
You are deep but
Uncomplicated...

How I love your
Smile and your laugh...

How I love that you
Are so smart
Yet it does not
Define who you are...

How I love your eyes...

How I love it
When we disagree...

How I love that
Silly hat of yours...

Between dream and reality...

I thought of you.

I See You

You are still
With
Me...

I see you,
Around me...

I see you drive
Past...

I see you walk
Past...

I hear your voice
Around me...

I sometimes
Think I
See you...

In my
Mind,
In my
Heart...

I see you,
I see your eyes,
I hear your voice...

The voice that mocked me...
The voice I cared about...
The guy I would have loved,
Given the chance...

By you.

Kiss Me

I love his
Smile,
That smile
That reaches
His eyes...

I love his
Laugh,
A laugh
That makes
Me smile...

I love his
Personality,
His


I
Look
In his
Eyes...

Those
Blue eyes
That light up
When he
Laughs...

I hear his
Voice,
Talking
To me,
Making me
Talk back...

And i hope..
And I sometimes pray...
And I want...

Him to kiss me.

Midnight

Midnight,
The point
Between
Today
And tomorrow...

Between the present
And the
Future...

A point,
A second
In between...

And it is
There...

In that point
Between what is
And what is to
Come...

That I will
Always
Love
You...

Will Things

how much
will
things
change,
when she's gone?


will you notice that
she
is
gone,
that she is no
longer there?

will you
look for her,
in the places
you usually find her,
and notice she
is not there...

will you find it hard for
her to not
be there?

or will you find
it easy and good
and joyful
that she is gone,
that you don't
have
to deal
or put up with
her anymore?

will
you have that
moment
when you
want her
to be there
and she is not?

or will you simple
be glad she is gone?

will things be different
when she's gone?
or will they be better?
or will they not change at all?

Lamp

I am a light,
somewhere
off the side...

sometimes
they see
me,
sometimes they
don't...

they never
put me in the room,
I always have
to come on my own....

they care,
but not enough to
put me in the room...

yet soon,
I will be gone...

I wont be there,
and I can't help but wonder...

will they even notice?

Ghost

you liked it when
I'm there,
but you
never ask
me to be there...

when I happen
to be there,
then I'm part of
the group,
I'm
one of  you...

when I'm not
there,
then I don't
exist...

I am a ghost,
a ghost that
is brought
back to life
when you
see her
there,
yet you never go looking
for me...

how much
do they care?
is it
truly caring
when
you don't
care enough
to include her?
even when she's not
there?

Stepping On A Flower

a flower,
that might or
might not be
beautiful,
on the side of
the road...

a pair of feet
comes along,
a  human male,
and steps
on the flower...

he stops,
sees what he has
done,
seen that he has stepped
on the flower,
yet he is not
surprised...

 he
knew he
was going
to step on
the flower...
yet he does
not know why
he stepped on it...

all he knows is that
he stepped on
the flower,
leaving its petals strewn
over the
side of
the road...

he feels bad
yet he still has no
reason why he stepped
on the flower...

with its dying life
force,
the flower looks up at him
and asks why he stepped
on her...


he doesn't know...
he thinks about it
and all he knows
is that he stepped
on the flower...


not on purpose but
not by accident either...


he does
not know the
reason why he stepped
on this beautiful flower,
crushing it and killing
it...

he walks on,
and the flower dies,
with her petals surrounding
her...
not ever knowing why
she was stepped on...

Is It Lying

Is it lying?

is it lying
when I act
like I don't
feel what I feel?

is it lying
when I act
like my heart
doesn't break all over
again each day that what
I want doesn't happen?

it is lying
when I act
like I am fine at
having my heart and my feelings
given back to me with a
"thanks, but no thanks"?

it is lying
when I shove
down my feelings to a place
deep inside
so I can
be the person he expects?
the person who is fine with being
just friends and with being turned down?

is it lying?
is all this lying?
is one truth a
more real truth than
the other truth?

I am a liar?
are all of
these lies
because they
are not the whole story?

Underneath The Smile

tears fall,
heart cries
and heart
breaks,
right in front
of their faces..

yet they
never notice...

they take the
smile on top of
the pain
at face value
and don't think
to look at what's
underneath it...

he knows
the emotions
but he also knows
the lie,
and doesn't
think
about the truth...

and this is
just the way I wish it to be...

the truth,
the feelings,
the awful pain
that is sometimes
too much to
bear,
that causes
me to drive
in the darkness
around and around
in circles
to push
it back away...
this all stays
buried,
underneath the smile.

Black And White

emotions
side by side,

one is
white,
the other is
black,

on one side
I feel
a strong
feeling,
a strong sense,

on the other side,
I feel
the exact
opposite,
yet it is just as strong,
just as powerful,

and they are both
as real.

neither one is more
real than the
other,
neither one
more fake
than the
other.

they are both the truth.

I find
myself
going back and forth,
feeling white one minute,
then black the
other,
and the only thing
they have in common
is him.

Too Brightly

Light can
be bright,
it can shine into
the darkness
and fill it
all with light...

light is good,
it lets you
see the monsters
in the dark,
allowing you
to be able to
fight them...

yet there
is a darkness
to light,
and sometimes
light can be
so bright
that you
cannot see
around you...

you look
right at it
and it blinds you...

it shines so brightly,
so intensily, and
so beautifuly,
that you cannot take your eyes
away from it
and you lose focus,
you don't see anything else...

not even yourself...

you always
have the option
of turning it
off,
or walking away,
yet...

what if this
brightly shining
light,
is someone that
you care about?
someone whose beautiful light
shines so
intensily
that it blinds you, and
you cannot see
anything else around you?
at least not without difficulty?

what is the answer then?
what do I do?


*inspired by Michelle Branch's "Goodbye To You" and also inspired by real emotion

1-Way to 2-Way Highway

its the end of having all the pieces
of my heart...

its time to say goodbye...
and sometimes...
when you say goodbye...

you leave part of your
heart behind...

with the
one you
love the most...


 doesn't mean
your heart is gone,
 doesn't mean it
is not capable of
love anymore...


it simply means that
you will also love
that person,
even if its a one way highway that
you walk alone and
are forced to
take an exit
off of it...

an exit to  a two way highway...

I Am Choice C

the place
where we
are at,
the place
we have worked
to get to...

is a place where
the options are
laid out before
us...

Choice A...
or Choice B...

and then...
there is choice C...

Choice C is "other"...
"none of the above"

I am choice C...

My choice, my plan,
doesnt fit into A or B,
it is not one of the A or B choices...

I am not the only one
who is a choice C,
but we are a rare kind...

I am choice C,
I am "other",
I am "none of the above"...

 its different,
 not as neatly laid out
as A or B...

it is the path less traveled by...
the path that can be
lonely sometimes,
the path sometimes
walked alone...

yet...
it is the path
I am walking on,
the one I have chosen,
and I won't willingly turn
from it.

I am proud to
be "other."

Nothing Left To Lose

There's a
part of me,
inside
my heart,
that wants
all or nothing.

it believes
that it loves
him so
much,
and the love is
not returned, therefore...

there is nothing left to lose.

it is this part that says hurtful things,
that boils up my blood and causes
mean thoughts and intentions and words to
pour out,like steam
from a pressure cooker...

and it always
lets me know the
truth:
that I am a horrible
friend that should
stay alone.

Tears

Tears
are a friend
I am well aqueiented with...

they are always
nearby,
always at hand.

sometimes
they come out because
my heart is touched
in a good way,

sometimes
they come out because
my heart is touched
in a painful way.

I am
good at
hiding them
so most likely,
you will never see
them,
but they are there.

I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes
and the world spins,

I close my eyes
and the tears well up,

they are never far away,
they are just
always right behind my eyes,
always
on the verge of
spilling
over,

because my
heart is in a constant
state of sadness,
of emotional
pain
because
I
will
never
have
who
I want.
or have
anyone period.

I am sad
because
not only
am I not loved by
the one I love,
but because I will never
be loved at all.

I will live alone,
and die alone.

Exception Not The Rule

He says
he doesn't
treat me differently,

I'm treated the
same as other
female friends
of his...

 finally realized
the root of my
frustration at this
lies not in
believing
I'm treateted differently..

but in wanting to
be treated
differently,
to not just be another
friend
to him,
but to be more,
to be special

instead of the rule,
I long
to be the exception.

I long to
be the one,
the one that he
gives a chance
to,
but I wont be.

I will always be the rule.
there is nothing
special in me
to be the exception.

The Closet At The Back Of My Heart

once,
not too long
ago,
i loved
you...

you rejected
it,
turned it
down,
said you didn't
and could never
want it...

I took
my love
for you,
put it into a box
locked it,
and threw it
into the closet at
the back of my heart
and locked the door...

I
convenced
myself
I had dealt with it,
that I had  gotten
over it,
never felt it,
told myself it
was gone.

yet it was
never gone,
it was always locked away
in the back of my heart's closet,
and now...

and now it is knocking,
knocking against the door
and I can hear it,
I can feel it,
and to bring it
out, to let it out,
would be painful,
because it would
be having to be rejected,
and am not strong enough
for that, to go through that
pain one more time.

so i let it keep knocking,so
hard the vibrations can be
seen in my eyes,
in the form of tears....

The Friend

the friend
who smiles at you,
makes you laugh...

the friend that
drives in circles
countless nights,
crying...

the friend that
longs to be
comforted...

the friend that swallows
the tears
during the day...

the friend that
sees having you
as a friend as a
diviine gift...

the friend
that tries to
hide the hurt...

the friend that
loves encouraging
you...


the friend that
loves you
but can't tell you...

these are all the
things I am...

Neither

which
choice
leads me to what I want?

neither.

wether I choose
the choice that
in the long run makes
me feel
better, move on..

or the choice where I
hide it all away and
never deal with it
and live with it and
and the tears for always...

neither of those
choices leads me to
what
I
want.

neither.

what I want...
is to end up with him.

neither.

My Heart

I walk around
happy and
smiley and
enjoying life.

and that's
no lie,
any of it.

yet my heart,
my heart is hurting,
it's hurting because of
feelingsit has strained to
conceal,hide away.

it cries,
even when I am not
crying, my heart is crying,
it is hurting,
and trying to avoid the pain
it knows speaking these feelings
to him would bring.


my hear feels like
a zombie sometimes,
alive yet checking out
sometimes.

my and I know
wgat beeds to be
done, yet we are both scared
of it.

The Truth

the truth
is painful,
the truth
will bring me pain.

the truth
hides inside,
a heavy rock
I carry
inside my heart,
making me
slower.

I know i
need to throw it
out,
admit
the truth,
the truth i have no
problem
admitting to
myself,
but not to you
or anyone else.

yet I know
the consequences,
and they are painful
and full of tears,
endless tears.

I know what
I need to
do, but
it is so terrifying.

I...

I move,
I walk,
I laugh,
I joke,
I read,
I write,
I drive,

I do
this
things and I love them,
yet I also do things
I wish I
didn't.

things that
I can't help,
much as I try,
but that I can only hide.

I play off my
hurt,
my hurt
that I
have
inside my heart,
every day.


I hide my dissapoiment,
and I hide
that I don't like being dissapointed
because I already
have to live every day
with the pain
of not having the relationship I
want,
or a relationship.

I cry,
I hurt,
I get emotionally exhausted
and some days I
wish I could just leave everything
behind and
leave,
go somewhere
new,
somewhere I don;t know
anyone
and become Emily 2.,
model my life
after her.

I don't say the things
I feel but am not supposed to feel let
alone say,
I say the things am supoosed to
say and feel,
though am not
sure if I really feel them
or if am trying to
convenience
myself I do,
like convening yourself
the grapes you couldn't
reach are sour...

I want to
travel,
I want to
teach overseas,
but what I desire,
is to be loved
in that special way.

From Across The Room

I stare from
across the room,
from across the
room I
let my eyes show
my emotions
the feelings I
hide inside,

from across
the room I
let my feelings surface,
I ackowledge
them from
across the room...

and then,
when you get close,
when you see me
from across the room
I hide it all...

I hide it inside
of me,
in a place behind my heart,
in the heart of my heart...

I take
the feelings
showing
out of my eyes,
and I hide them,
I put them
behind an invisiable blind that keeps
them from
showing...

across the room
I am the girl who loves you...
across from you
I am merely your friend.

Blog Introduction

This is the only post on here that will not be a poem. I love writing poems. on my garden blog, my main one, I write many poems on there. I decided on the way into the library today that I wanted a separate blog for my poems.my poems are not the best, I doubt they are any good at all. it's not like I'm some secret amazing poetess. however, my poems are one way in which I express my heart. it allows me to try to put into words my heart's voice. my heart has its own voice and its language is not always easy to understand.other times it helps me to unload my emotions. one of my favorite songs is "Breathe(2am)" and one of favorite lyrics in that song is:

 "If  I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

Threatening the life it belongs to..."

I never would have thought to put it like that until I heard this song. I totally understand what that lyric is saying. sometimes, writing it, getting it out of me, no matter how bad it sounds or how much it might worry my friends, is the only way that it wont hurt me. if I put it down, in a poem, in a blog post, in a letter to God, then it wont be inside me anymore. if I let it out, then I wont be keeping it inside of me, letting it grow and grow. sometimes when things or emotions go unsaid, they just get stronger and more powerful.  

a lot of my blogs are geared towards a certain type of writing: my garden blog is diary-type writing, my letters to God is praying/conversations with God type writing, my story blog is creative type writing. its time my poetry had its own blog.  I'm very much looking forward to writing in this blog.