Is It Lying

Is it lying?

is it lying
when I act
like I don't
feel what I feel?

is it lying
when I act
like my heart
doesn't break all over
again each day that what
I want doesn't happen?

it is lying
when I act
like I am fine at
having my heart and my feelings
given back to me with a
"thanks, but no thanks"?

it is lying
when I shove
down my feelings to a place
deep inside
so I can
be the person he expects?
the person who is fine with being
just friends and with being turned down?

is it lying?
is all this lying?
is one truth a
more real truth than
the other truth?

I am a liar?
are all of
these lies
because they
are not the whole story?